The crazy world that is secret cinema

You will have heard the slogan - secret cinema - tell no one. This summers programme instantly sold out and it was looking like this was going to be another time that it remained on my list of things I really should do. Last summers film was Shawshank redemption - the audience were tried in a courthouse, sentenced, given prison overalls and sent via Authentic prison buses to live out their sentence. I wanted to be a part of it.

My dreams were answered ( theme of the film spoiler) when more tickets came up. Julie and I were sent frequent teasers about what we were going to have to do. Our first main task was to sign up and submit our work experience. I explained that my work as a parking inspector wasn't fulfilling my dreams of using my craft skills and creativity, Julie wanted to dance more. After a full assessment we were told to report into our respective departments for our first days work as a G.O.O.D employee. 

Our dress ( deemed to be appropriate for our work station) was office chic, post Franco manca pizza we headed off to work. Fellow workers were spotted on the train and we gave each other nervous first day smiles. We reported into G.O.O.D headquarters in West Croydon. Our ID's were checked on arrival, I was granted a left handed upgrade to the 13th floor, and we were reprimanded for using the same entrance ( we had separation issues). 

Still none the wiser about the film we reported into the committee for affordable housing and got busy making circular homes out of cardboard. After our shift we bumped into the tea lady who added a bit of whisky to calm any first day nerves and we reported into the Finance department on the 5th floor. The place was crazy - actors running around, women on roller skates, food for sale, men giving massages. Finance was no fun, so we skipped down to the fashion floor, avoided the ' design yourself a new vulva' room and chanced upon a vending machine. Remarkably human customer service, and when the hand giving Julie her wine gave her a thumb sign and told her to do one I couldn't stop laughing.

We checked out the 13th floor, admired the view of Croydon and then found ourselves being asked to listen in and transcribe a conversation from 2 suspected bad employees who were being interviewed in an interrogation room. Work done, we need a break, so we hang around near the offices on the 9th. Until we get spotted by a terrifying man who screams that there are no breaks allowed, we run away from him ( spilling my wine) and hide in office 9.10. He finds us and tells us that if he sees us little shits not working again he's sending us to the 10th for punishment. Much giggling.

We explore the rest of the floors, I can't really describe it all - it's the weirdest thing I've ever experienced. Had I seen or been aware of the film I think it would all have made a lot more sense. As neither of us had any clue what it was - it meant less, but that didn't detract from the experience. we were both loving it. 

Other highlights included me being shouted at again for picking up a face mask ' put it down' screamed the manager. I did. Scared. I thought he was going to confiscate my phone at one point but Julie sweet talked him. We had massages, had more human vending experiences, had our dreams acted out. We discovered a secret floor and got told that G.O.O.D wasn't what it seemed. The lift girls sang at us, a hot repairs man flirted with us and then the main event.....

I can't say much more than this, but at about 9.30 the genius in the choice of building became apparent. Really, really cool.

Remember, tell no one

X

The day I controlled the weather

I'm not sure I've mentioned it readers, but I've been away a while, travelling in Africa ( yawn...). I got back to a very snowy London and to be honest I've not been feeling the London magic.

I had to do something different , something new - I needed to fall back in love with my city.

I heard about the mysterious sounding rainroom from a Welshman. As a general rule I avoid Welshmen - years of summer holidays in rainy, miserable north Wales being the very valid reason. However this Welshman seemed unusually chirpy about London - and he raved about rainroom. I did a bit of research, and it was a temporary exhibition on at the Barbican. On the positive it sounded amazing, I've never really spent any time in the barbican and you got to hang around inside away from the snow. On the negative it was closing in a few weeks, queues of 3 hours were being blogged about and I would need to get up before 9am.

My lovely Belgian was over the following weekend, so after talking it through, she was game. We casually got there at 10.30am ( the exhibition opens at 11am) and joined the queue. I'd got my light clothes on ( recommended if you want to keep really, really dry). Somewhat randomly Gok Wan walked past with a cheery hello. That was about the extent of the good news. A nice official looking lady came and broke the news that where we were was a 5 hour wait.

We did the sensible thing, and wandered off to the never not amazing Broadway market and hung out with the hipsters, ate violet cupcakes and got involved some of the most incredible smoked salmon. The Belgian loved Broadway market. We then headed to Colombia Road and indulged ourselves in some Orla Kiely purchases, we also stumbled past Keira Knightly. Seemed nice.



So the 5 hours we could have been queueing was nicely spent.

Over the following week I kept thinking about this room though. How could tourists be getting to see it, and I'd failed miserably? It wouldn't do. I was going back. I needed someone used to hanging around waiting patiently. A fellow backpacker. Helen was roped in. This time we got there at 9.30am - we meant business. I brought my travel pillow and settled in. 3.5 hours later we were smugly at the front waiting to go in. They let around 6 people in at a time. When we got the nod I positively skipped down. It was that exciting.

The actual walking into the wall of rain was a little daunting, the assistant told us to walk slowly if we wanted to avoid getting wet. I'm not sure I do slow walking, and I did get the old drip on me. But the sensation is very, very incredible. If I believed in God, or a weather lord ,then this might be what they get to experience. I/ they walk - rain ceases. To the side, front and back torrential rain, right where I am dry. Very, very cool my friends.

I'd say go, but it's pretty much all over red rover. I can imagining it popping up somewhere else though. It's too incredible for it not to.

X

Bad Santa's

Saturday was going to be your standard, lovely Christmas sightseeing in London day. My beautiful friend Bec was over from Australia with her boy, and we had nice plans involving the south bank, London eye, tower bridge, borough market topped off with watching the skating at Somerset House.

The first couple of Santa's we saw just looked quite cute - a few claphamites on a festive pub crawl perhaps. The 30 or so we saw at Waterloo suggesting something more was going on. These Santa's seemed nice enough though - harmless Santa fun.

As the day progressed the Santa's seemed to be getting a bit of wickedness in them - some had cans of stella strapped to their Santa belts. We saw a few Santa's going for a piss behind some bins. I'm not sure you'd be wanting these Santa's to come down your chimney.

What the hell was going on? I pride myself on my pretty damn good tour guide skills, i like to think I know London as well as the best of them. So where the hell was my invite Santa? Have the elves decided to exclude those above the age of 35?

At Tate Modern Santa's were rolling down the turbine hall - not sure the curator's had this in mind as the next exhibition.

I was starting to get sick of these bad Santa's, dirtying our streets and as we walked onto borough market the Santa spottings diminished. We supped our mulled cider in peace.

And then we made the mistake of heading to Trafalgar Square.........

Lordy! Christmas chaos. Today is going to be a good time to jingle bells to wake all the bad Santa's up. Santa is gonna be feeling fragile.

The party we didn't get invited to is called Santacon. It did actually look like a lot of fun. Next year.....

http://www.santacon.co.uk/

Some enchanted evening....

I'm a cinema snob - I twitch at the prospect of sitting in an odeon in Leicester square surrounded by people who have come to ' the west end' for a night out. Give me a poncy, small venue any day - if they serve booze at your seat all the better. I'm talking Picturehouse, the Lexi, the everyman and new favourite the Rex.

Imagine my delight then to see posh people's favourite cinema chain The Everyman were doing a festive run of films at their ' enchanted cinema' season. Even better it was being held at the old vic tunnels - a mere 15 minutes train ride from my house. The Everyman and I get along great - I sat in front of Liam Gallagher in Belsize park once and got upgraded with 10 friends to a private balcony area in the Hampstead one. As a brand I love it.

So after an interesting 20 minute walk inhaling spray paint fumes ( the tunnels are underneath Waterloo train station, we got stuck walking down a graffiti tunnel for a while.....) we arrived to this underground lair of winter fun. I wasn't really sure what to expect - but we got Sofas covered in sheepskin rugs, lit candles, cool wall art. We also got the friendliest team of staff, delicious cocktails ( try the earl grey martini, the lovely bartender gave us the recipe) and a cosy, cosy space.

After working our way through the cocktail list we head into the movie. It is a very atmospheric space ( trains rumbled above us) - but definitely one to avoid sitting behind a big strapping Norwegian ( or indeed a 6 ft plus any nationality) - the screen is pretty compact.

We had the classic Frank Capra 'it's a wonderful life' - god and on nights like this it is isn't it?We came out to fake snow falling and a folk band.

Standard London evening......

As the movie says no person's poor if they are surrounded by great friends......

Just make sure the tall one's are with you not in front

X

We watched:
http://www.everymancinema.com/oldvictunnels

We got the recipe for:
Earl Grey Martini
Infuse gin with a teabag overnight
Add 3 parts gin mixture to 1 part squeezed lemon and 1 part sugar syrup. Shake with ice. Drink and smile

Waffley versatile.......

Not many ad slogans stay with me - get mash, get smash; birds eye potato waffles though are up there....and the waffle theme ( Belgium last weekend, never had a waffle there) was in a full force at the beautiful, new venue Duck and Waffle.

Bit of a surreal moment before my arrival - I parked near Liverpool Street station- the men in front of me looked a bit shifty. They seemed to be putting harness's on - as I walked away - late for brunch - I realised. I'd run into two base jumpers - they were about to throw themselves off a building. Much better to go up one in a lift and have a coffee at the top - but each to their own.

Anyway back to the point - D&W is up on the 40th floor of Heron Tower in the city - the views I'd seen online looked tremendous - it's above Sushi Samba ( want to be taken here - hint hint - looks pricey) and offers food 24/7. The ride up there is worth it alone - I got there early so ascended the glass lift alone. Wow - quick ride. I'm not known for my love of heights - but it was fine. We picked a gorgeous, crisp blue sky day. This place was going to be special.

Wow - once you get into the venue you can't help but break into a massive, Olympic style grin. It's quite simply incredible. Fairly small venue, and the views are easily the best of any restaurant I've ever been in. I couldn't stop grinning. The staff were all lovely, and tolerated my isn't this incredible chat very patiently. Soph arrived, and I patted myself on the back for such an ace choice of birthday venue ( Soph's 40th had been a few weeks previously).

I'd looked at the menu online before arriving, I was having the English breakfast. Sophie was more adventurous and went for Colombian eggs with smoked salmon. My tea was lovely.

Food arrived quickly from the open kitchen ( fit chef - not that you're interested - but just filling you in) - highlight of mine were the trotter braised beans. The Colombian eggs looked beautiful. It's also the biggest bargain in town - for the price of a lipstick you can breakfast here.

I want to come every week, I want to bring my girls for cocktails, my dad for brekkie, My neighbour - everyone......

Next time I'm having the waffles - we'll have them together - you all have to come. It's firmly on the London brunch list. Sorry Wolseley you've been bumped.

The ride down's a bit stomach churning though..........

X

We brunched at : Duck and Waffle, Heron Tower, 110 Bishopsgate. Liverpool street tube.

http://duckandwaffle.com/

A winter pop up

I love the seasons - when Autumn gets close I start to remember all the hat/boot/glove combo's I can get going on and my end of summer sadness goes.

Then winter arrives and I get all carried away with the festive wonder that is Christmas in London. As long as no one makes me either go ice skating or drive in the snow - then winter as far as I'm concerned is almost as good as summer - with the added bonus of presents, legitimately spending Sunday's without leaving the flat and mulled stuff.

Mulled stuff and I had a lot of action this weekend. Pimms winter was out in force on Friday night and then last night it was pretty much doctors orders.

We'd booked a table at the winter temporary home of Forza -the Italian rooftop pizzeria in bethnal green. Only this time it was an Italian version of fondue, mulled brandy, and a beautiful peanut butter banofee ice cream from Gelupo. Individual hob's were at the centre of the tables and our cheesy concoction was accompanied by ginger pig delicacies ( ham, sausages), seasonal veg ( squash, parsnips, radicchio) and beautiful sourdough. A lovely sensitive singer rounded the evening off.

The cheese is so rich and creamy that apparently you have to accompany it with either wine or hot mulled cider.

When on a rooftop and all that.....

We ate at: Forza ( winter), location revealed on booking.

I became addicted to: pimms winter, Gelupo desserts, fingerless gloves.

Lobster obviously.....

A night out was planned at Soho Theatre to see a comic talk about romance and adventure. I'm not entirely sure the two go hand in hand, but I know what does go well with adventure - lobster.

The last time I had lobster was in Nicaragua, in a truly amazing island called Big Corn. Admittedly chosen because of its name the island is paradise and has the added bonus of Lobster being the main food source. So days of lobster soup, lobster curry, lobster on toast etc etc.

Back home my chances to relive those heady lobster days seemed limited. That is until a friend mentioned a new place in Mayfair called Burger & Lobster. Simple menu - burger or even lobster for £20. The place was permanently heaving. So they opened one on Dean Street just down the road from the theatre we love. Perfect.

I'd made a reservation for us girls , so we smugly walked past the people being told it was a 90 minute wait. It's a big space, noisy and full of happy diners. Turns out our options included more than just lobster or burgers. Choices are:-
1. 10oz burger with cheese & bacon, fries, salad
2. Lobster in a brioche bun, with a Japanese dressing , fries, salad
3. Lobster grilled at the end if you like, served with lemon and garlic butter, fries, salad

So the choice was obvious right? 4 lobsters, and a burger for the seafood hating friend.

Plastic aprons were dished out, what looked like nut crackers issued. Within 5 minutes the juicy fella's had arrived - wow. Instantly transported back on holiday. Utterly delicious. The most beautiful plate of food. Burgers looked tasty ( but pricey?)

We ate quickly ( tricky with a lobster) and rushed up to our theatre show. The comedienne tricked us with the romance and adventure theme - not strictly true more like scraping through life dismayed by what the Tory government were doing and attending socialist rally's. Probably didn't seem like a good time to blurt out that we'd just spent the evening drinking cocktails and eating lobster...............

We ate and drank at:
http://www.burgerandlobster.com/

The damage was £32 with a glass of wine ( drinks are pricey ish £8 for aG&T). Lobster is amazing value.

We laughed at:

http://sohotheatre.com/whats-on/josie-long/